He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
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