my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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