So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
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