Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
