I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
