Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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