I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
