Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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