The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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