You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
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