Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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