Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
