Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
