How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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