My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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