he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
