I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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