woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
That accounts for only three of the penises
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
