If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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