Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
