Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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