I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I think your dad took our porno
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
