we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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