Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
