if i can run in heels then i can drive
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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