Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
