it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The uberlube is also flammable
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
