just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
