why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize