I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
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I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
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Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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