She tied me up with her honor cords...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
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He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
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Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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