i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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