OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
