he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
