Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
Well my cheeks are red now
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman