So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize