Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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