This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
