There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
we should paint friendship bongs
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
