that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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