Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
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He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
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I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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