i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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