On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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