I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
