I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
