You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
