Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
