I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
whose ass print is on the piano?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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