hell yes lets make some ravioli
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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