I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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