Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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