I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
