I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
