So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
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I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
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Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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