The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
