We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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