You can't motorboat a personality
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
