I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
