I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
